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分类目录: 站长博文
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站长介绍的留学心得,美国院校动态

站长博文怎么对待刁难人的同事

我一直都觉得我对所有人好所有人就会对我好,没想到会有人因为我是我而不喜欢我。

工作的地方有很多实习的黑人高中生,看到耶鲁的学生就不爽。他们有很多是上财政有困难的公立学校,父亲母亲不愿意交学费,所以假期由市政府给他们提供打工的机会,所以他们就成了我的下属。我对他们穿衣打扮不敢恭维,但是从来不说,因为我知道每个人有自己的自由。虽然他们耳环和CD一样大,裤子宽松得一跑就要掉下来。但是他们就看不惯我的衣着。觉得穿皮质或者帆布的平底鞋是自以为了不起的体现,穿POLO衫是炫耀自己很有钱。尽管我只是想很得体的去上班,他们还是觉得我是故意强调我是耶鲁的学生。

于是第一个星期,我决定妥协。每天穿有洞的衣服去上班,以为这样就可以和他们没有距离。可是他们还是对我态度不好。我和耶鲁的老板吃饭,很苦恼,当我跟她讲我穿有洞的衣服的时候,她就喷咖啡了。她觉得很好笑为什么要牺牲自己去融入别人。她说她很理解我是好心,但是人要获得别人的尊重不是靠学别人的样子,而是通过自己的行动要证明自己不是好惹的,但是是无可挑剔的。她让我第二天穿得最有耶鲁学生的样子去上班,让我要敢于说不,还要练习一个脸色,那个脸色传达的信息就是‘不要惹我,否则后果自负’。她说,工作不被人欺负的第一个绝招就是练这个脸色。

我回家真的对着镜子练了很久,可是这个不是我的性格,怎么我都很友好。

所以我决定衣服我还是穿没有洞的,但是我不会去凶谁,我只要坚持自己的立场,把事做好,我相信这样可以感动那些需要一个榜样的小朋友,希望他们也可以明白,不是态度不好,凶巴巴就可以解决问题。而是要敬业,尊重别人,对人要好,这样自己才会开心而且问心无愧。

站长博文话剧演出

上个星期五我实习的一所公立高中的话剧社表演了这个学期的最后一出戏,因为我中学在新加坡也是演话剧的所以有很多东西可以比较。

首先是钱的重要性。我的中学话剧社的道具从来都是从家具店买来的,不知道钱是从哪里来得,或者是政府,或者是校友捐赠,但是每一出戏都会添新的道具。但是这所公立学校首先是在一个很穷的区域,其次因为学校很少有校友捐赠所以话剧社经费很少。他们这出戏里的床是学校老师从家里般来的,演完了还要般回去。我初中的每一场演出都是在新加坡最好的舞台,有在历史悠久的酒店话剧厅里面,有在老的国会舞台,如果是在学校演出我们也有自己的black box和很好的灯光。但是这个学校的演出在食堂里面,没有舞台,就是把桌子椅子重新摆了一下,移出一块空地当舞台。

其次是种族问题。我初中的话剧社印度人和马来人很多,华人和新加坡人口中华人的比例相比算是很少的。大概是因为印度人的英文底子比华人好,马来人喜欢玩,话剧社是最好玩的课外活动之一。但是这个高中的话剧社全是白人。在一个80%都是黑人的高中,我觉得这个真的是很奇妙。我去问老师原因,学校的老师可能因为种族问题很敏感,都没有人给出合理的解释

然后是题材。在新加坡演出如果是自己写的剧本,一般都是反映社会现实,跟家庭有关的题材。我高中的话剧老师是很保守的英国老先生,一定要我们演英国的剧本,所以有很多龙和骑士的战争这样。但是这个学校的话剧的题材要阴暗很多,有关于在学校不受欢迎的小孩想自杀的,有关于恶梦的,演出由于题材问题还不准14岁以下的小孩看。不知道这些和学生的心理有没有关系。学校有很多南美移民的小孩,因为父母非法身份的问题,虽然自己是美国人但是在上学和申请奖学金的问题上还是经常碰壁。其次,这个地区大多数白人小孩都上很贵的私立学校,这些在公立学校里面的稀有白人小孩可能心里会不平衡,有很多疑问,为什么自己的父母没有能力把自己送到好学校,为什么要上‘贫民窟’一样的学校。另外,我觉得这个也说明学校的开明,对题材没有限制,老师也由学生发挥。

然后我就觉得自己很幸运。最近读C.S.Lewis,他就说当你评价一个人的时候一定要想想他的背景,他是不是和你一样受过很好的教育有很好的家庭教养。他说这样想一想之后就会发现很多人只是不幸,因为成长的经历没有办法有和你一样的见解,礼节和价值观。人的很多不好的品质都是被生活所迫才慢慢生根发芽,所以我们应该更多的理解和同情。

然后我就想,其实这个很对。这种教育环境的差异对小孩影响很大,这些小孩每天要面对的问题,比如自己挣大学学费,父母都不会说英文,怎么找学校报销公交车车费之类的根本就不是很多幸运的小孩需要考虑的。有一次做火车去纽约,同一个包厢里面有两个妈妈是两姐妹,一路都在扯家庭财产的问题,讲怎么保证家族六个小孩的利益。而她们上车那一站的高中,今年就给耶鲁送了几十个学生。

昨天和一群都是长青藤学校的纽约州的一群朋友在Tarrytown烧烤,每一个人都是专门给长青藤送学生的很好的私立高中毕业的。我就想,这些人对生活的热情和认真的程度,其实远远比不上我实习的公立高中的小孩,但是因为父辈的努力,所以只需要花一点点努力就很一帆风顺。相比之下,那所公立高中的小孩要自己挣钱打工才能上州立大学,而非法移民的小孩的目标只是社区大学。

站长博文给朋友的信,是最近读书的思考

Hi!

How are you? Hope you have thoroughly enjoyed your FOOT training Anyway, as lighthearted as the greetings may sound, this email is actually going to be quite serious and heavy (sorry for bringing up burdensome thoughts and reflections during our long deserved bright and sunny break)

As I have mentioned to you, I am taking a theological certification class at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. In the Church history class, I was quite unsatisfied with the explanations they offered on Reformation, so I delved deeper into the matter and consulted a few other resources on Church history, from secular, Protestant and Catholic angles. The more I read, the more I start to questions the principles of 'sola scripta' and 'sola fide'. Some of the literature have forcefully pointed out the lack of biblical foundations of them. This really shocked me, and as I was gradually convinced by the true definition of the Church, I became, at the same time, deeply unsettled and uneasy with this dramatic revelation which I have never considered before.

Apart from the movement itself, taking the class also got me to carefully examine the stands each denomination takes on 'controversial' issues like abortion and divorce. Sadly, I was really disappointed that every Protestant denomination does not oppose abortion, and all of them consent to a varying degree some definitions of marriage which I disagree with.

I began to think about the reasons why I was drawn to the Anglican churches in New Haven, and how a Protestant theology led me to question the Reformation movement. Interestingly, as I look into the history of Gordon-Conwell, I realized that it used to be a Catholic school, however, due to financial strains, the school's premise was sold and later established as a Protestant seminary. Well, that might just be a coincidence.

Anyway, pardon all the rambling, I just really don't know how to resolve this issue. Apparently, I am not yet ready to just denounce Protestant churches and claim that I have enough reason to become Catholic. However, this feeling of 'I don't know which church to attend on Sundays' is not what I wanted...Today, I declined my friend's invitation for me to visit her church for I really cannot agree with its beliefs, and all of a sudden I realized that apart from the Episcopal churches, I have no where to go. But again, how can I attend a church that was founded on a man's tantrum to divorce his wife?

Indeed, ignorance is bliss...thanks to the class, I feel homeless spiritually now...

The purpose of email is really not to burden you with my problems, I just really need to talk to someone about it, and you are the nicest person I know with whom I can discuss matters like this I'm really confused and don't know what to do... I feel like apart from reading more books and praying, there's really nothing more I can do

Please don't feel obliged to provide me with any answers, I understand that this is quite a ridiculous email...

Anyway, wish you an awesome summer ahead and keep in touch!

Best,
Yusu

站长博文暑假做什么

不知道国内的大学生暑假一般做什么,讲以下周围的同学和我自己的暑假计划。

有很多朋友留在耶鲁做科学。比较好玩的有在耶鲁医学院的猴子实验室做研究。也有朋友去法国做化学,去新加坡做生物。学科学的也有去Google之类的地方实习的。

喜欢写东西的朋友有去纽约报纸/时尚杂志做实习编辑,有去伦敦帮宗教报纸写文章的。

巴西学葡萄牙语/中国学中文/意大利学意大利语...

也有很多回以前的高中办夏令营的。

当然更多是去纽约/波士顿做金融。

感觉就是没有人夏天在纯玩的。。。

我拿到一个州政府的实习fellowship,做跟教育改革有关的研究。因为公立教育在这边确实比较糟糕,会被派到一个学校实习,然后和政府的人讨论一些政策的东西。这个学校是一个试验学校,特别的地方是学校有自己的农场。所以学生除了上正常的课之外,还要当农民劳动。所以我的研究就是这种实践教育(我自己翻译的,experiential education)和环境教育。

除了这个之外还要上一门电影课。学好莱坞电影和改编成电影的小说。还要上一个宗教研究的课和一个关于国际冲突的课。

然后要读很多书,计划是要看每一个好朋友最喜欢的书,当然也要看杂七杂八的书。

然后因为是美国红十字会的灾难救援队的一员,所以要参加很多训练,如果有火灾暴风这样要随时被调遣。

总之就是不会很闲。

站长博文Before my last final

Had our last dinner with a group of really close friends today. Everyone's leaving for a different journey during the summer. It's interesting how the longer we've been together, the less our life paths overlap. Maybe that's the point of Yale, selecting a group of diverse kids, making each other better person in the most unexpected way.
I've grown so much this year. Never in my life have I experienced this much soul-searching. One of my best friends, who used to nag me almost everyday told me a week ago that he will no longer bug me. For there is nothing for him to worry about me. I've matured to be a responsible person, I know what I'm doing. I couldn't tell you how proud I was when he said that. I didn't realize the transformation that took place within me until that moment.

I am extremely fortunate to have a close group of honest friends. Their criticism can be harsh and overtly personal at times, but without them, without the late night conversations that took place at the most random occasions, I would not have known myself this well.

Undoubtedly, there's still a lot to be done. I have not yet figured out a clear direction for myself. Yet, I am ready to face whatever life has in mind for me. I'm no longer the girl who avoided every single confrontation with herself, who ran in the face of every challenge. I stopped dropping things in my life.

I am confident that things are going to finally last in my life. Relationships, passions, wonders, whatever. I will one day emerge a woman. Soon, soon enough in fact, that I will be able to savor the simple joys of life, the smiles that truly matter. I will outgrown the naivety, the need for pretenses.

And hopefully, by then, I will be able to put a smile on your lovely faces.

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